Monday, August 25, 2014

Exchanging experiences

This small piece we are sharing herewith was sent by a reader. Many of us are feeling these things now. 

I am somewhere so different that I really don't know what to say about it.

I have been experiencing the strangest occurrences. They're not "bad" nor are they necessarily "good". They're just...weird. Things happen that are entirely out-of-order. They take my breath away and force me to sit down and try to make some sense of it.

It was during one of these glitches in the matrix that an important realization swept over me.

Has anybody else realized -- actually, truly "real eyes'd" -- that they're dreaming? It is the weirdest sensation to KNOW -- to actually KNOW -- that this is all a dream. I see and experience this life in the exact same way I do when I am having a lucid dream. I feel as if I have woken up in a dream.

For me, everything has changed. My questions are completely different from what they were just a few months ago. The story has changed. Things now have different explanations. The logic is different. I can barely find any relevancy anymore in what I used to think about.

So many things now look fake and contrived to me. I can barely read the Internet anymore. People say and do the exact same things that they've always said and done. I can predict what is going to be said next, because it has already been said so many times before. There is something robotic or mechanical about the things I see.

The weather here is different. The skies are different. The air I breath is different...and I question that: am I actually breathing? I have questions about the imagery involving "biology". I have questions about the reality of "physicality".

The only thing that reminds me that I am "here" is hunger. I still get hungry...and I wonder about that too. Hunger seems abnormal. It seems foreign to me. I see people putting things in their mouths, chewing, then swallowing and I kind of don't get it.  Why are dream people consuming their dream environment?

My biggest question is, "who or what is doing the dreaming?" I feel very much as if I am a figure in an imaginary world. I feel detached from anything that is not in my immediate vicinity, but, then, I also realize that anything anywhere IS in my immediate vicinity. There is no distance here.

There is something that is very present -- a bigger me? A father? A Thoth? -- and It looks out through my eyes; It thinks my thoughts. I am not too sure anymore of who or what "I" am. I am beginning to seriously doubt that there is an "I" at all. There is something else that is both very big and very small that is...right here. It is as if "I" emerge from It. I am definitely NOT independent of It.

It is hard to tell anybody about any of this, because they immediately begin to question my sanity -- and perhaps they are right to do so. I wonder the same thing. Am I just going crazy? Am I losing it?

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